Overwhelmed in a good way // summer is over?

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name be filled with joy.

Psalms 5:11

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Looking back at how crazy the summer was I see why this has just finally came to me: it's FALL! Busy is probably an understatement for how the last few months have been. SO heres a short-ish update/post about the summer :) I am happily overwhelmed.

Things I am incredibly thankful for:

My church

Oh how I love Summit. The community and the messages every week are so applicable and helpful in growing my faith and walk with God. I go to college group as well as young professionals and have met such amazing people who are all in such different places in their lives yet are seeking God and community all the same. October starts my 11th month attending and I feel so at home. I was just given an amazing gift and am moved by the generosity and kindness of Summit staff and those who attend.

My job(s)

The salon - I am so grateful that I have been able to keep my job at the salon even though I was upfront about the great possibility of leaving in January. I still get to do something I love greatly and be around amazing mentors and friends.

The dance shop - it's been just like riding a bike going back to the dance shop! I worked there for 2 years prior to cosmetology school and saw an opportunity to squeeze myself back in there and took it. It's been so fun and good to be back there.

CYT - there has been a whole lot of "new" when it comes to teaching at CYT. I've never taught a tap class and have never taught at CYT for an actual quarterly class (they end in a performance). Three weeks in and it has pushed me immensely as well as taught me a lot about my own confidence in what I know.

Photography gigs - I have had a blast shooting senior pics for friends and friends of friends and it reminded me of my love of capturing moments.

My recovery

Six months free of self-harm and nine months free of disordered eating. Praise God, what a new life! 

My friends

Man on man, how I love my friends. Whether it's impromptu trips to go swimming and cliff jumping, going to watch a meteor shower, or going hiking up on a mountain, my friends have shown me such great love and support this summer. There truly is a connection with people I have never experienced because of Jesus. It's so cool hearing about people's lives and stories and how good God is. I've reconnected with friends and made a whole lot of new ones. I am overwhelmed daily.

For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling; I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living. 

Psalms 116:8-9

Getting prayed over before I was baptized by my Summit friends

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Overall, this has been in fact a summer of making noise. I have spoke up when I was not being heard, been honest about my intentions, and gave my thoughts and ideas out willfully. As of now, this blog with retain it's name for the sake of simplicity but I will announce a new blog and link to it here for future things when the time comes. 

As October approaches, these are the things i want to strive for: living more simply, helping others, embracing life (and failure), and showing the love of Christ in my actions. So here's to fall, the season of new communication, lots of work, sweaters, and drinking copious amounts of tea.

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All to Jesus I surrender

all to Him I freely give;

I will ever love and truth Him

in His presence daily live.

I Surrender All // Ascend The Hill

Links galore!

Hello! 

I often find myself pointing people in too many directions when it comes to where to find me online so I thought it might be a good time to make a grand post with many links so it's easy to find what you want when it comes to this journey I'm on.

My Testimony

Bracelets:

Wandering Heart 

T-shirt partnership with UnashamedTees:

Hope Saved Me 

Instagram:

madisonlmc

Tumblr:

My Soul Magnifies

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Always feel free to email me [ madisonlmc@hotmail.com ] with any questions, comments, prayer requests, words of wisdom, or anything of the like.

I am incredibly blessed with 4 jobs at the moment but still need any financial support you are willing to give. I just need a lot of people to give me very little and I'll be at my goal (and I'm talking...$5, $10, or better yet, have me make you something so you get something in return!).

Thank you everyone so much for your continued support and love along the way and for tolerating my more-than-normal need for chocolate and alone time these last few months :) 

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"Let your root grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness."

Colossians 2:7 NLT

struggle // stretch marks on my heart

"My heart lives in so many places. With so many people. But God whispers to me that I really have only one home, and that is with Him. I will never be content on this earth. I will always be a nomad. It was meant to be that way. My heart was created with a desire for a home, a nest, a sanctuary, and that can be found only with Him in Heaven."// Katie Davis

These last few months have been incredibly difficult. The decision to leave everything I have here: my dream salon and my wonderful family there, my church and groups I'm a part of, and the amazing friends I have made especially at church, all to go to Bible college still hurts although I am overjoyed with the prospect of attending. To raise enough money to attend, I'm working four jobs which hurts my time with God, friends, family, and my sanity. So is this what God wants for me? Is the struggle worth it?

So far, it always has been. Don't get me wrong: there is really no where I would love to be more than at Bible college. It's just that at this moment I feel like I have a heart for too many things and it creates an inner turmoil. There has always been a fine line with me between pushing myself and pushing myself too far. I am committed and driven in where I am going and always have been. I also love things to be perfect, planned, under control, safe.

This summer has taught me a lot about changing that. "Going with the flow" is definitely not what I'm used to and takes some deep breaths but at the end of the day, it gives new opportunities I would have probably not been given otherwise. I have sat with many and spoke about my decision to purse Bible college and how it doesn't often seem possible or completely make sense with where my life is now yet I still feel so compelled to go. I had a friend say that she's never heard me sound so sure of something before and therefore she feels quite confident in how much it is in my heart.

If I could somewhat condense my thoughts here and not ramble, I would say something like this: I want to live a life devoted 100% to God. That picture is very challenging to me though. Practically, what exactly does 100% devotion mean? How do we live in the world yet live for God? Am I doing enough? Am I doing the right thing? Although I know nothing I do will "win God over" these thoughts often flood my head. At the end of the day, these are things I need to prayerfully consider - the choices that in the end, are my free will to make no matter what God might be telling me.

I don't feel right where I am (I possibly never will). I don't know what I'm built for. My heart is in far too many places with far too many people. It's not the worst place to be but it sure is difficult one. I will always wander and never fully feel at home until I'm at home with Him. That's probably the hardest thing to accept. But God never said it would be easy. Our relationship with Him should be challenging to our everyday lives and for me it definitely is.

At the end of the day, I have faith that He is in control. He protects me and provides me with the strength to get though everyday. Does that mean that I don't have doubts? Absolutely not. Full tuition is out of my reach and I'm fully aware of that. I remain a realist with an overflowing faith. In constant irony, I try to find some middle ground. No matter what, I want to seek God always, trusting that He will provide.

Even when I feel torn, even when I am scared and unsure, He will provide. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for my wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you," says the Lord. // Jeremiah 29:11-14