fall so far.

Fall has proven already to be a wonderful season for me and others. Friends have moved into their houses and gotten new jobs. We've started a new series at church and in college group we have as well.  New leaders are emerging and community is increasing. People are joining the group and we're all growing together and challenging each other. I do often sit back and look at my life and wonder how I got here - surrounded by people I love who are passionate and caring - and I'm just astounded. God is SO good.

I'm still waiting to hear back from CCBC regarding acceptance so keep praying for that! I didn't do an end-of-September update but I'm mostly on track but still behind due to hours being cut because of the busy season being over at work. 

Without further ado, pictures galore!

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I got the opportunity to go on a camping/climbing trip up at Vantage with my college and for once I wasn't working so I jumped right on that. I've never been climbing but once or twice indoors as a kid so it was beyond challenging and so much fun. 

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 Then after two days there and coming home I spent some time at a beautiful park with a friend. 

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The house that four of my friends have moved in always seems to want to be photographed. 

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My heart lately feels so burdened to serve. I continue to work though a lot and am constantly reminded of God's love for us and want to share that so greatly. I spent some time talking to a friend about what's to come for both of us being in this strange season of life and I just kept feeling that pull on my heart to pursue ministry full time. I don't know what that means at the moment, but I know I want to be sharing the Gospel and loving people no matter what. Prayerfully, I have been asking God to show me where He could use me best no matter how uncomfortable that may make me. 

I know that if I'm accepted to CCBC, my heart for serving will just grow more. Either way, I look forward to what's to come. If I'm not accepted I know God has a greater "yes."

Over the weekend, I was told I am so joyful and I truly feel that I am now. I walk with God now and have that light shining in my heart. Thinking that my past will consume me again is denying the power of God in the now. I will never say I don't struggle because I do nearly everyday, but struggle is so different when you're walking with God. 

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But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge.

Psalm 71:14-15

I'm not afraid, I am ready.

Oh, how things fall into place.

This wasn't my plan. My plan wasn't to fall in love with Jesus and for my world to be turned upside down. My plan wasn't to pray for my heart to be broken, my plan wasn't to know a deeper joy than I ever thought possible. My plan wasn't a plan, essentially. It was to do what I was good at, to get comfortable in that, to live and learn and try to enjoy myself. But Jesus had such a different plan for me. One that would require me to take a few steps back and examine weakness and strength in my life; He had a plan that would be challenging, uncomfortable, and would grow me to know God and to equip me to serve.

I've been really sick the last two weeks. What started out as feeling just overall unwell turned into urgent care trips and eventually a trip to the ER. Basically I've been on bed rest the last two weeks and have had a lot of time for resting my body and my mind and whole lot of time to pray.

I was in a lot of physical pain and extremely exhausted, often just laying there singing (I know, quite the image) and I kept ended up singing the lyrics, "show me your glory" (listen to that song here if you'd like). To me these lyrics were pretty straight forward - a prayer to see the glory of God present in our lives. But then something switched, a meaning flipped on me and I can't even really explain it but I started praying and telling God that no matter what He wants for me is what I am ready for.

I am ready to be uncomfortable, I am ready to be challenged, I am ready I am ready I am ready. If You want me in school, I am ready. If You don't want school for me, as difficult as it is, I am ready. I want to spread Your word. I want to be 100% devoted and I want my life as it currently is to be shaken.
You want me all in, and I am ready.
The glory of God overwhelming and loving, is where we belong. 

So why fear? Why hold yourself back with, "well," and, "but," when he calls us with what we have and who we are? He is ready for you. Go.

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I'm not afraid

I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, show me your glory, my God

Show me Your glory, show me Your glory

I long to look on the face of the One that I love

Long to stay in your presence, it's where I belong

Show me Your Glory // Jesus Culture