End of August update

Hello all! I've been incredibly absent but I'm home and don't feel like sleeping so here I go!

Nothing new, I am extremely busy and have been horrible at updating. I'm currently juggling 4 jobs on top of just moving in with my Grandma and have barely got my clothes unpacked let alone had time to blog about what's going on. Feel free to just read the beginning of this if you're looking for a college update only. I figured I might as well make one giant update :)

Firstly, Bible College update:

As of today, August 31st, I'm only $105.27 behind my weekly goal (I have 4 more months to make the remaining $3201.27)! Fortunately, I am doing some more portrait photography sessions this week as well as starting to teach a tap class for CYT starting September 9th. That's right, my life is about to get even more hectic. It is more than worth it though no matter how drained I'm constantly feeling. I never thought having 4 jobs would even be possible for me, but it tuns out it is. Prayers for my sanity and energy are greatly appreciated!

Long term I need much more than my $5000 goal which will cover my first semester's worth of tuition and supplies. I am literally putting aside all money I receive so every little bit helps! Any donations or monthly support is welcome and I can use paypal or otherwise. Please get in contact with me with any questions or comments (madisonlmc@hotmail.com). 

I am still making bracelets although I've had to seek new anchors elsewhere because I've sold out of them (great problem to have!). Look for a post about that soon; I'm planning on making some examples and taking some pictures of the new anchors and new colors as well. 

My testimony can be read here on another one of my blogs so feel free to learn more about me.

Lastly, I paired up with UnashamedTees to create this shirt for my fundraising for CCBC. If you want to know more or purchase a shirt, click though this link. I am so happy I was able to work with them to create a great, meaningful product.

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SO, here's what's going on in my life otherwise (it's been busy!):

I started working back at the dance shop on top of the salon and photography gigs and it's been quite a blessing. Prior to cosmetology school, I worked there for 2 years and it's been just like riding a bike being there again. 

I was baptized the day before my 20th birthday (the 18th of August) and my mom was in town which was just wonderful. I am so thankful that the man who showed me who Jesus is baptized me. This is probably my favorite picture in the history of forever.

  

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That soon was followed by going to Melanie and Andrew's wedding

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The next day I spent some time packing and moving but then went to dinner and met up with some amazing friends for my birthday. My sister made me this flower crown which I proceeded to wear the entirety of the day.

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I was hired to shoot Jennifer's senior photos and had a great time!

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I found this (aka, my dream) leather briefcase at Value Village for $9.99 and after looking it up online, found out I just saved nearly $550. If you know me and know my love of leather briefcases, you know how excited I am about this beauty. I also got to spend this day with the lovely Anna Peters who is leaving for an internship with Krochet Kids incredibly soon and I got to hear all about her life currently. I feel so privileged to have friends like her who I get to learn and grow from.

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Lastly on my "life update" side of this post, I'm SO excited for my best friend who is finally back from her summer travels and I can't wait to see her again!

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I am overwhelmed and thankful by the people in my life, by the relationships that have changed so incredibly, and for the light of Christ that shines in me everyday. I am nearly running on empty, but I'm fighting hard to push though for His Kingdom. I'm excited and overwhelmed all at the same time.

Here's to another month full of insanity and joy!

A few from Jennifer's senior session

I had tons of fun shooting for Jennifer! I loved all her different outfits and we hit a lot of locations.

    

Accepting Christ's love and therefore, love period.

Hello all!

Watch out, I'm about to get real here. 

Growing up, I didn't find a whole lot of meaning in casual conversation or casual friends; I always wanted deep and powerful relationships that were open and honest no matter what. As a 3rd grader, you can imagine how many friends I had thinking like that (the answer is very few). Part of me looks back on those years and how it has shaped me today into a slightly fearful and apprehensive yet appreciative friend. More and more, I push myself out of that thinking that there will be few friends I actually connect with and go along with people to their outings, adventures, or hangouts. 

I'm sure a majority of young-adults do these types of things - go swimming, go to birthdays, go to lunch with groups of friends - but for me it has been anything but normal and has taken a lot of effort on my part to believe that people don't mind, and perhaps enjoy [GASP] my company. 

Most of the people I hang out with now are from church and they are loving and kind and just all sorts of fun. I was speaking to one of them at college group on Sunday about the default of our minds to go back to what we know and what we're used to. For me, that is that:

1. People will leave me

2. Most people don't really care beyond small talk 

3. I am probably annoying to people and they hanging out with me/inviting me places out of pity.

But Jesus:

1. Never will leave me. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

2. Always wants to hear about my deepest thoughts, burdens, and worries. (1 Peter 5:7, Psalms 55:22)

3. Isn't annoyed with me. (Galatians 5:22-23, Psalms 103:8)

Overwhelming isn't it?

It's easy to read those verses and accept those things with our minds but accepting it in our hearts is a whole different story. The three negative things I feel the most are: 

Fear

Worthlessness

Inadequacy

And those are NOT from God. Those are things of this world, that try to tear us from God every single day. How could I feel worth God's love? How could I really be forgiven when I still do so much wrong? How does God overlook my past? How does God wait for me when I drift apart from him? 

For me, it's an everyday decision to learn to accept that someone cared about me so much that he sent His son to pay the ultimate price for us. Again, hard truth to swallow but it starts there. The love Jesus has for us is unworldly. It is beyond comprehension and beyond understanding. It's okay to struggle and wrestle with feeling like you're nothing. It's not okay to accept that. 

No matter what you do or did, Jesus still loves you. There is nothing you can do to win your salvation as it is a gift we have been given through grace by faith when we first believed (Ephesians 2:8-9). That means there's no point system for every time you pull out your bible and study or go to church. There's no "good boy" pat on the head for leading a pure life. There's no comparing you to that guy who sits by you at church who seemingly has his whole Bible highlighted and can quote scripture at the drop of a hat. There's you and your relationship with God.

So what I'm getting at is I challenge you to accept yourself where you are, broken and human, and to accept that Jesus loves you regardless.

It is a transformative love. 

It breaks down fear, it destroys hate, and it opens your heart to accepting love in all areas of your life, including your walk on the earth. 

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Anyone out there that's reading this saying, "yep, sounds familiar," I encourage you to remind yourself of the grace of God. Pray and ask for God to break down the walls in your heart in your specific situation. When we learn to accept His love we learn to accept love in all forms. I have seen my relationships change, I have experienced my thoughts shift, I have loved and been given love like never before. Yes, it's scary. Yes, it's hard work. YES it's worth it. 

Or maybe it's never been difficult to accept that people like or love you. Maybe you grew up quite popular and well liked and the thought, "I am so terribly annoying and horrible everyone must be pretending to like me," didn't bounce around in your head too often. For you people, I encourage you to pray for those who are without the confidence and boldness to fully accept love and Christ's love. I pray that you are always humble in your love and give it freely expecting nothing in return. 

And for everyone, I pray that we always give love openly and unabashedly. I pray that we will be transformed by the truth and light that is Jesus Christ. I pray that our relationships be renewed and strengthened and we can recognize needs in our communities. Jesus, I thank you for the opportunities you give us to learn and love. I pray to never take lightly the real hope we have because of you. Thank you for giving us the ultimate gift! Amen.