I'm not afraid, I am ready.

Oh, how things fall into place.

This wasn't my plan. My plan wasn't to fall in love with Jesus and for my world to be turned upside down. My plan wasn't to pray for my heart to be broken, my plan wasn't to know a deeper joy than I ever thought possible. My plan wasn't a plan, essentially. It was to do what I was good at, to get comfortable in that, to live and learn and try to enjoy myself. But Jesus had such a different plan for me. One that would require me to take a few steps back and examine weakness and strength in my life; He had a plan that would be challenging, uncomfortable, and would grow me to know God and to equip me to serve.

I've been really sick the last two weeks. What started out as feeling just overall unwell turned into urgent care trips and eventually a trip to the ER. Basically I've been on bed rest the last two weeks and have had a lot of time for resting my body and my mind and whole lot of time to pray.

I was in a lot of physical pain and extremely exhausted, often just laying there singing (I know, quite the image) and I kept ended up singing the lyrics, "show me your glory" (listen to that song here if you'd like). To me these lyrics were pretty straight forward - a prayer to see the glory of God present in our lives. But then something switched, a meaning flipped on me and I can't even really explain it but I started praying and telling God that no matter what He wants for me is what I am ready for.

I am ready to be uncomfortable, I am ready to be challenged, I am ready I am ready I am ready. If You want me in school, I am ready. If You don't want school for me, as difficult as it is, I am ready. I want to spread Your word. I want to be 100% devoted and I want my life as it currently is to be shaken.
You want me all in, and I am ready.
The glory of God overwhelming and loving, is where we belong. 

So why fear? Why hold yourself back with, "well," and, "but," when he calls us with what we have and who we are? He is ready for you. Go.

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I'm not afraid

I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, show me your glory, my God

Show me Your glory, show me Your glory

I long to look on the face of the One that I love

Long to stay in your presence, it's where I belong

Show me Your Glory // Jesus Culture