Redirect!

If anyone still checks this, head on over to my new blog I started for school and beyond!

fall so far.

Fall has proven already to be a wonderful season for me and others. Friends have moved into their houses and gotten new jobs. We've started a new series at church and in college group we have as well.  New leaders are emerging and community is increasing. People are joining the group and we're all growing together and challenging each other. I do often sit back and look at my life and wonder how I got here - surrounded by people I love who are passionate and caring - and I'm just astounded. God is SO good.

I'm still waiting to hear back from CCBC regarding acceptance so keep praying for that! I didn't do an end-of-September update but I'm mostly on track but still behind due to hours being cut because of the busy season being over at work. 

Without further ado, pictures galore!

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I got the opportunity to go on a camping/climbing trip up at Vantage with my college and for once I wasn't working so I jumped right on that. I've never been climbing but once or twice indoors as a kid so it was beyond challenging and so much fun. 

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 Then after two days there and coming home I spent some time at a beautiful park with a friend. 

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The house that four of my friends have moved in always seems to want to be photographed. 

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My heart lately feels so burdened to serve. I continue to work though a lot and am constantly reminded of God's love for us and want to share that so greatly. I spent some time talking to a friend about what's to come for both of us being in this strange season of life and I just kept feeling that pull on my heart to pursue ministry full time. I don't know what that means at the moment, but I know I want to be sharing the Gospel and loving people no matter what. Prayerfully, I have been asking God to show me where He could use me best no matter how uncomfortable that may make me. 

I know that if I'm accepted to CCBC, my heart for serving will just grow more. Either way, I look forward to what's to come. If I'm not accepted I know God has a greater "yes."

Over the weekend, I was told I am so joyful and I truly feel that I am now. I walk with God now and have that light shining in my heart. Thinking that my past will consume me again is denying the power of God in the now. I will never say I don't struggle because I do nearly everyday, but struggle is so different when you're walking with God. 

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But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge.

Psalm 71:14-15

I'm not afraid, I am ready.

Oh, how things fall into place.

This wasn't my plan. My plan wasn't to fall in love with Jesus and for my world to be turned upside down. My plan wasn't to pray for my heart to be broken, my plan wasn't to know a deeper joy than I ever thought possible. My plan wasn't a plan, essentially. It was to do what I was good at, to get comfortable in that, to live and learn and try to enjoy myself. But Jesus had such a different plan for me. One that would require me to take a few steps back and examine weakness and strength in my life; He had a plan that would be challenging, uncomfortable, and would grow me to know God and to equip me to serve.

I've been really sick the last two weeks. What started out as feeling just overall unwell turned into urgent care trips and eventually a trip to the ER. Basically I've been on bed rest the last two weeks and have had a lot of time for resting my body and my mind and whole lot of time to pray.

I was in a lot of physical pain and extremely exhausted, often just laying there singing (I know, quite the image) and I kept ended up singing the lyrics, "show me your glory" (listen to that song here if you'd like). To me these lyrics were pretty straight forward - a prayer to see the glory of God present in our lives. But then something switched, a meaning flipped on me and I can't even really explain it but I started praying and telling God that no matter what He wants for me is what I am ready for.

I am ready to be uncomfortable, I am ready to be challenged, I am ready I am ready I am ready. If You want me in school, I am ready. If You don't want school for me, as difficult as it is, I am ready. I want to spread Your word. I want to be 100% devoted and I want my life as it currently is to be shaken.
You want me all in, and I am ready.
The glory of God overwhelming and loving, is where we belong. 

So why fear? Why hold yourself back with, "well," and, "but," when he calls us with what we have and who we are? He is ready for you. Go.

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I'm not afraid

I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, show me your glory, my God

Show me Your glory, show me Your glory

I long to look on the face of the One that I love

Long to stay in your presence, it's where I belong

Show me Your Glory // Jesus Culture

Overwhelmed in a good way // summer is over?

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name be filled with joy.

Psalms 5:11

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Looking back at how crazy the summer was I see why this has just finally came to me: it's FALL! Busy is probably an understatement for how the last few months have been. SO heres a short-ish update/post about the summer :) I am happily overwhelmed.

Things I am incredibly thankful for:

My church

Oh how I love Summit. The community and the messages every week are so applicable and helpful in growing my faith and walk with God. I go to college group as well as young professionals and have met such amazing people who are all in such different places in their lives yet are seeking God and community all the same. October starts my 11th month attending and I feel so at home. I was just given an amazing gift and am moved by the generosity and kindness of Summit staff and those who attend.

My job(s)

The salon - I am so grateful that I have been able to keep my job at the salon even though I was upfront about the great possibility of leaving in January. I still get to do something I love greatly and be around amazing mentors and friends.

The dance shop - it's been just like riding a bike going back to the dance shop! I worked there for 2 years prior to cosmetology school and saw an opportunity to squeeze myself back in there and took it. It's been so fun and good to be back there.

CYT - there has been a whole lot of "new" when it comes to teaching at CYT. I've never taught a tap class and have never taught at CYT for an actual quarterly class (they end in a performance). Three weeks in and it has pushed me immensely as well as taught me a lot about my own confidence in what I know.

Photography gigs - I have had a blast shooting senior pics for friends and friends of friends and it reminded me of my love of capturing moments.

My recovery

Six months free of self-harm and nine months free of disordered eating. Praise God, what a new life! 

My friends

Man on man, how I love my friends. Whether it's impromptu trips to go swimming and cliff jumping, going to watch a meteor shower, or going hiking up on a mountain, my friends have shown me such great love and support this summer. There truly is a connection with people I have never experienced because of Jesus. It's so cool hearing about people's lives and stories and how good God is. I've reconnected with friends and made a whole lot of new ones. I am overwhelmed daily.

For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling; I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living. 

Psalms 116:8-9

Getting prayed over before I was baptized by my Summit friends

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Overall, this has been in fact a summer of making noise. I have spoke up when I was not being heard, been honest about my intentions, and gave my thoughts and ideas out willfully. As of now, this blog with retain it's name for the sake of simplicity but I will announce a new blog and link to it here for future things when the time comes. 

As October approaches, these are the things i want to strive for: living more simply, helping others, embracing life (and failure), and showing the love of Christ in my actions. So here's to fall, the season of new communication, lots of work, sweaters, and drinking copious amounts of tea.

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All to Jesus I surrender

all to Him I freely give;

I will ever love and truth Him

in His presence daily live.

I Surrender All // Ascend The Hill

Links galore!

Hello! 

I often find myself pointing people in too many directions when it comes to where to find me online so I thought it might be a good time to make a grand post with many links so it's easy to find what you want when it comes to this journey I'm on.

My Testimony

Bracelets:

Wandering Heart 

T-shirt partnership with UnashamedTees:

Hope Saved Me 

Instagram:

madisonlmc

Tumblr:

My Soul Magnifies

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Always feel free to email me [ madisonlmc@hotmail.com ] with any questions, comments, prayer requests, words of wisdom, or anything of the like.

I am incredibly blessed with 4 jobs at the moment but still need any financial support you are willing to give. I just need a lot of people to give me very little and I'll be at my goal (and I'm talking...$5, $10, or better yet, have me make you something so you get something in return!).

Thank you everyone so much for your continued support and love along the way and for tolerating my more-than-normal need for chocolate and alone time these last few months :) 

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"Let your root grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness."

Colossians 2:7 NLT

struggle // stretch marks on my heart

"My heart lives in so many places. With so many people. But God whispers to me that I really have only one home, and that is with Him. I will never be content on this earth. I will always be a nomad. It was meant to be that way. My heart was created with a desire for a home, a nest, a sanctuary, and that can be found only with Him in Heaven."// Katie Davis

These last few months have been incredibly difficult. The decision to leave everything I have here: my dream salon and my wonderful family there, my church and groups I'm a part of, and the amazing friends I have made especially at church, all to go to Bible college still hurts although I am overjoyed with the prospect of attending. To raise enough money to attend, I'm working four jobs which hurts my time with God, friends, family, and my sanity. So is this what God wants for me? Is the struggle worth it?

So far, it always has been. Don't get me wrong: there is really no where I would love to be more than at Bible college. It's just that at this moment I feel like I have a heart for too many things and it creates an inner turmoil. There has always been a fine line with me between pushing myself and pushing myself too far. I am committed and driven in where I am going and always have been. I also love things to be perfect, planned, under control, safe.

This summer has taught me a lot about changing that. "Going with the flow" is definitely not what I'm used to and takes some deep breaths but at the end of the day, it gives new opportunities I would have probably not been given otherwise. I have sat with many and spoke about my decision to purse Bible college and how it doesn't often seem possible or completely make sense with where my life is now yet I still feel so compelled to go. I had a friend say that she's never heard me sound so sure of something before and therefore she feels quite confident in how much it is in my heart.

If I could somewhat condense my thoughts here and not ramble, I would say something like this: I want to live a life devoted 100% to God. That picture is very challenging to me though. Practically, what exactly does 100% devotion mean? How do we live in the world yet live for God? Am I doing enough? Am I doing the right thing? Although I know nothing I do will "win God over" these thoughts often flood my head. At the end of the day, these are things I need to prayerfully consider - the choices that in the end, are my free will to make no matter what God might be telling me.

I don't feel right where I am (I possibly never will). I don't know what I'm built for. My heart is in far too many places with far too many people. It's not the worst place to be but it sure is difficult one. I will always wander and never fully feel at home until I'm at home with Him. That's probably the hardest thing to accept. But God never said it would be easy. Our relationship with Him should be challenging to our everyday lives and for me it definitely is.

At the end of the day, I have faith that He is in control. He protects me and provides me with the strength to get though everyday. Does that mean that I don't have doubts? Absolutely not. Full tuition is out of my reach and I'm fully aware of that. I remain a realist with an overflowing faith. In constant irony, I try to find some middle ground. No matter what, I want to seek God always, trusting that He will provide.

Even when I feel torn, even when I am scared and unsure, He will provide. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for my wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you," says the Lord. // Jeremiah 29:11-14

End of August update

Hello all! I've been incredibly absent but I'm home and don't feel like sleeping so here I go!

Nothing new, I am extremely busy and have been horrible at updating. I'm currently juggling 4 jobs on top of just moving in with my Grandma and have barely got my clothes unpacked let alone had time to blog about what's going on. Feel free to just read the beginning of this if you're looking for a college update only. I figured I might as well make one giant update :)

Firstly, Bible College update:

As of today, August 31st, I'm only $105.27 behind my weekly goal (I have 4 more months to make the remaining $3201.27)! Fortunately, I am doing some more portrait photography sessions this week as well as starting to teach a tap class for CYT starting September 9th. That's right, my life is about to get even more hectic. It is more than worth it though no matter how drained I'm constantly feeling. I never thought having 4 jobs would even be possible for me, but it tuns out it is. Prayers for my sanity and energy are greatly appreciated!

Long term I need much more than my $5000 goal which will cover my first semester's worth of tuition and supplies. I am literally putting aside all money I receive so every little bit helps! Any donations or monthly support is welcome and I can use paypal or otherwise. Please get in contact with me with any questions or comments (madisonlmc@hotmail.com). 

I am still making bracelets although I've had to seek new anchors elsewhere because I've sold out of them (great problem to have!). Look for a post about that soon; I'm planning on making some examples and taking some pictures of the new anchors and new colors as well. 

My testimony can be read here on another one of my blogs so feel free to learn more about me.

Lastly, I paired up with UnashamedTees to create this shirt for my fundraising for CCBC. If you want to know more or purchase a shirt, click though this link. I am so happy I was able to work with them to create a great, meaningful product.

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SO, here's what's going on in my life otherwise (it's been busy!):

I started working back at the dance shop on top of the salon and photography gigs and it's been quite a blessing. Prior to cosmetology school, I worked there for 2 years and it's been just like riding a bike being there again. 

I was baptized the day before my 20th birthday (the 18th of August) and my mom was in town which was just wonderful. I am so thankful that the man who showed me who Jesus is baptized me. This is probably my favorite picture in the history of forever.

  

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That soon was followed by going to Melanie and Andrew's wedding

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The next day I spent some time packing and moving but then went to dinner and met up with some amazing friends for my birthday. My sister made me this flower crown which I proceeded to wear the entirety of the day.

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I was hired to shoot Jennifer's senior photos and had a great time!

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I found this (aka, my dream) leather briefcase at Value Village for $9.99 and after looking it up online, found out I just saved nearly $550. If you know me and know my love of leather briefcases, you know how excited I am about this beauty. I also got to spend this day with the lovely Anna Peters who is leaving for an internship with Krochet Kids incredibly soon and I got to hear all about her life currently. I feel so privileged to have friends like her who I get to learn and grow from.

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Lastly on my "life update" side of this post, I'm SO excited for my best friend who is finally back from her summer travels and I can't wait to see her again!

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I am overwhelmed and thankful by the people in my life, by the relationships that have changed so incredibly, and for the light of Christ that shines in me everyday. I am nearly running on empty, but I'm fighting hard to push though for His Kingdom. I'm excited and overwhelmed all at the same time.

Here's to another month full of insanity and joy!